Tenth Muse
Monday, August 30, 2004

Highway to Hell

Surely You Jest

So, there's this Hell House thing. I don't get it really. I mean, I know what it is, but I'm not sure I understand how it's supposed to be a fun Halloween treat to gather your kids and say, "Hey, Family! Let's go see pretend wholesome kids pretend to get drunk and pretend to do drugs and pretend to get raped so you can learn why it's bad. And then we'll go on a hayride! Pass the candy corn. Wheeee!" The fuck?

Over on Defamer, I found a link stating the Hollywood Hell House is opening soon. I nearly keeled over when I read the site. This, pulled directly from the Hollywood Hell House website:

The scariest haunted house in the country with a frightening eight room journey into hell. Witness a bloody abortion. Be caught in a school shooting. Get front row seats to a gang rape. And then, descend into hell.... Hollywood Hell House is done according to guidelines of the Hell House Outreachâ„¢ kits distributed by Destiny Church.

Ok, what? I mean, I think that the whole Hell House concept is fucking retarded, but being pedalled as a spooky bit of holiday fun... man, it really pisses me off. I thought, surely, this is a joke.

And from Defamer:

This weekend Los Angeles' Hell House opens to the public, featuring a rotating cast including David Cross, Bill Maher, Traci Lords, Sarah Silverman, and (many) more.

HUH!? David Cross? Yeah, I was confused. Way confused. I could actually feel the blood flushing my cheeks. I thought all was lost and that Mr. Show with Bob & David would be forever tainted. But, after doing a little reseach, I confirmed it is a big holy mockery. And this pleases me! Yay for big holy mockeries!

HOLLYWOOD HELL HOUSE is not in any way an indictment of religion, Christianity, or the Bible. Its purpose is to demonstrate the absurdity of a literal interpretation of the Bible, specifically the belief in a literal everlasting Hell.

Hallelujah.